This site is closed – Check out my new blog!

My journey into photography began with this blog and of course it has sentimental value for me. Nevertheless I have decided to close this blog. I will not delete it, but there won’t be any further updates to it in the future. Don’t worry though, you can still follow my work on my other blog. I have had two blogs for quite a while and with time it became too much of a headache to keep them both updated. In the end it caused a lot of confusion as well and of course we don’t want that! So, if you are interested in following my work, please do so over here:

Lilly Schwartz
Photography

 

 

 

impressions from the exhibition

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

On the 14th we travelled to Dresden to go to the vernissage of the exhibition No Time No Space No Soul in Dresden where you can still see a few of my pictures until the 21st of December. I had a great time and it was really fun to stand behind people and sneakily listen to their reactions to my pictures. I got quite a few nice compliments and it was quite an experience! I also used the opportunity to take some pictures as well.

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

On the left writer and artist Pierre Rochus, who also happens to be my brother.

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Don’t they look nice there? The one at the bottom didn’t like the wall much and tried to make an early escape several times. Getting those Kapa boards to stick to the wall is about as much fun as cutting them (= nightmare).

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

In the background photographs by K. C. Wagner.

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Sculpture by K. C. Wagner.

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

In the background photographs by Silvio Colditz.

Since the exhibition celebrated the publication of another issue of the literature and art magazine Der Maulkorb the vernissage was accompanied by author readings. I am not in touch with the German literature scene at all, so it was quite interesting for me. My pictures shown in the exhibition are also published in Der Maulkorb #12. You can get it over at Der Maulkorb blog.

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Silvio Colditz reading. He did an amazing job organising the whole event. In the background a photograph by David Campesino and an artwork by Silke Rilke.

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Sculpture by K. C. Wagner (the same as the one further up).

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Katja Bohnet reading.

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Dresden, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Stephan Zwerenz.

All pictures taken with: Canon EOS 450D and Canon EF 50mm f/1.4.

My favourites were definitely K. C. Wagner’s work and the pictures of the flood by Silvio Colditz.

And you know what the best thing is? You still have the chance to see it until the 21st of December 2013! Go check it out at Hole of Fame, Königsbrücker Str. 39, Dresden. There will also be more events happening until the Finnisage on the 21st.

(s)hoe city

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

All pictures taken with: Olympus Pen E-PL3 and Panasonic Lumix 20mm f/1.7 ASPH.

Excuse the title, but that’s what it says! These pictures were mostly taken around Friedrichstraße, apart from the one in daylight which was next to the vocational school that is at the end of my street.

The last few days I’ve been busy developing and scanning film. Nothing to show yet, because I want to process them all before I edit the pictures further. I still have 5 rolls to develop and 7 to scan from my trip to Chemnitz. I hope I’ll get it done before we go to Chemnitz again over Christmas. Theoretically that wouldn’t be a problem, there are still 8 days to go, but the next 4 we will spend in Dresden. On that note, here a friendly reminder that there will be an exhibition starting in Dresden tomorrow which will also show some of my pictures. If you want to check it out, it’s at the Hole of Fame in Königsbrücker Straße 39, Dresden. The vernissage starts at 7pm. So, the next few days will be spent with the exhibition, sightseeing and we also want to see a couple of museums. It’s the first city trip in ages, so I’m excited already! Of course I’m taking a couple of cameras, so you’ll probably see some Dresden impressions soon.

up we go

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

All pictures taken with: Olympus Pen E-PL3 and Panasonic Lumix 20mm f/1.7 ASPH.

Occasionally I feel the need to document my neighbourhood here in Berlin as well. As you can see it’s not too pretty actually. Of course it’s winter already, which always makes a difference, but one has to remember that Berlin is one of those places with especially long and cold winters. This look is a reality for a substantial part of the year. Too bleak for my liking! This winter I will spend at least January and February in San Sebastian hoping that the winter won’t go on much longer after that. Last time spring only came in April, so I’m hoping this winter will be a little shorter. Skipping at least a part of this dreadfully bleak season is already a start though, whatever happens.

Yesterday I had a breakthrough when developing film. I managed to push a roll of Ilford HP5+ to ISO 1600. I tried to push a couple of rolls to ISO 3200 once and somehow it really blew out the highlights. Considering that I was doing stand-development, this was actually an indication that I did something wrong. I researched stand development again and realised that I have been doing semi-stand so far. I usually agitate vigorously for half a minute and then invert once every 30 minutes. When developing film at box speed this actually works really well, but when pushing it was too much agitation. This time I did one minute of slow inversions – 6 in total – and then swirled carefully for 15 sec every half hour with 90 minutes development time in total (it was Rodinal 1:100 in a 500ml solution). I guess I will have to try pushing to 3200 down in the subway next. If I can manage to get decent results I can finally also start shooting in the subway with my Zorki.

As you can see, I’m still learning how to handle film. At ISO 400 I already feel rather confident, because I’ve shot and developed quite a few rolls of that. For box speed I have used D76, Rodinal and Ultrafin so far and I have the most experience (semi-)stand developing with Rodinal. Soon I will also try to develop in Caffenol, because I’ve seen so many nice results with it. However, when it comes to pushing or pulling I still have lots of room for improvement. At least I’ve now found one recipe that seems to work.

Something else I learned was that filtered water is not enough for the the wetting agent in Berlin. In San Sebastian it worked fine even unfiltered, but here I got some serious water stains which I only noticed after scanning. I will have to figure out how to rewash the cut negatives. Last time I tried it, it turned into a bit of a disaster, because I don’t really know how to hang them. For now I got myself 5L of distilled water for the next 9 rolls I have to process.

let go of your ego

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

All pictures taken with: Olympus Pen E-PL3 and Panasonic Lumix 20mm f/1.7 ASPH.

Another session for the ‘Down below’ project. I seem to have lost track of how many sessions I did, so I don’t really know whether I should be shooting some more for it or not. In any case, this can probably wait until next year anyway.

Yesterday I realised that I should have researched my scanner a bit more thoroughly when I got it. In the past I was using Image Capture to scan the negatives and then I cut, inverted and sharpened the scans in Photoshop. Turns out that although the scanner did not come with software for the mac, it actually exists anyway to download from the Epson website! The software is not perfect, but way better than my previous approach. And of course I don’t have to spend ages turning negatives into positives. I prefer to sharpen in Photoshop anyway, but other than that the Epson Software does a pretty decent job. Perfect timing to have found this software since I still have 5 rolls of film to scan and this does not even include the 8 remaining rolls from my trip to Chemnitz. With the new software the post-processing will go much faster.

Our trip to Dresden on the 14th for the vernissage of the exhibition is almost planned now. I missed the last exhibition where some of my pictures were shown, so it will actually be the first time I see them hanging on a wall. Should be a rather rewarding experience. We are also planning to go see the Old Masters gallery and the Mathematisch Physikalischer Salon, and of course I’m hoping to take some pictures around Dresden as well. I am already looking forward to the trip, since I did not get much opportunity for travelling like this in ages.

perfect fit

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

All pictures taken with: Olympus Pen E-PL3 and Panasonic Lumix 20mm f/1.7 ASPH.

These pictures are from the new set of my ‘down below’ series. Although I was hoping that could finish it soon as well, I think this one will actually still take a while. I also wanted to have an analog part of the series, but so far I’ve been failing at pushing the film correctly in Rodinal stand-development. My only test roll was severely blown and I have since realised that I’ve been over-agitating the roll. Instead of inverting every half hour I should only swirl when pushing. At box-speed my semi-stand method seems to work well, but pushed it just didn’t work at all. I will have to try another roll doing it correctly and maybe test Caffenol as well. This probably won’t be happening this month though, because I am way too busy on another project.

A couple of days ago I arrived back in Berlin after my trip to Chemnitz to shoot for my ‘Memory’ project. Almost every day I went to places that are connected with my past and took pictures. It was a rather strange experience, because almost everything changed or is entirely gone. The apartment building where we lived until I was 7 or 8 is gone, my kindergarten, my primary school and my secondary school as well. The only two places left are the house where we lived until about half a year after I was born and the building where I lived until I was 17. One of these houses I can’t even remember, because I could not even walk when we moved away. It almost doesn’t count at all, since in a project called ‘Memory’ I should actually have a chance to remember. So, in the end only one place is left and I’m not sure whether they will demolish it as well. After all it’s an ugly concrete block and they have demolished so many of them on the other side of the valley. However, I think this one is actually still rather inhabited and even quite central as far as the outskirts of town go. Maybe they will keep it for the time-being. The fact remains that four of five places where I spent my childhood and teenage years are gone. No wonder then that my encounter with the empty lawns or parking garages that took up these spaces instead was rather surreal.

Especially when I walked around the neighbourhood of my childhood I found myself confused and could neither remember in which entrance of the apartment block my best friend lived nor could I be sure whether my kindergarten was an older or a newer building. I think I remember a newer building and that it stood where now a lawn is. The internet confirmed my memories and apparently the kindergarten was demolished in August and September 2012. This happened so recently that Google Maps still shows an aerial view of the building. My primary school already disappeared a few years earlier. I already had the idea for this project several years ago and wanted to take pictures of the exact same places assuming that everything was still standing. I wanted to start with my primary school, but when I got there I had to realise that the building was gone. Since then my brother also had been in the neighbourhood and told me that our house had disappeared as well. Back when I realised that my primary school was gone I saw it as a reason to abandon the idea, but the longer I thought about it the more I grew convinced that I needed to try it anyway. It might be difficult to document something that is already gone, but I believe that this will add to the atmosphere of the project. It is strange that not even ruins remain, but this is what the planning authority of the city council seems to regard as progress. And besides, it helps to keep builders in work.

Although quite a number of places have changed considerably there are also aspects that were completely unchanged. The manhole cover next to the street where my best friend and I sat to count red cars, the hum of the electricity pylon which gives you a slight tingling sensation when you stand underneath, the winding path leading up from the tram stop, all remains the same. Somehow this combination of the familiar and unfamiliar added up to a rather eerie atmosphere. It probably did not help that the area seemed devoid of people, despite the curtains in the windows. Ironically I actually saw more crows than humans in the neighbourhood, which did not improve the atmosphere one bit. I tried to take some pictures of the birds, but when I got too close they all flew up into the air with indignant cawing that kept following me for minutes afterwards. There were so many of them! Let’s just say that I have had nightmares in the past that started in just the same way …!

The crows kept following me even beyond the neighbourhood too, or at least that’s what it seemed like when I was at the other end of town at my secondary school, well, where it used to be. Also there I got indignant caws and a lot of flapping wings at my attempts to take pictures and nevertheless they kept lurking around watching me intently. ‘Surreal’ hardly captures what it was like to be walking around in such eerie surroundings.

By now I almost finished the project. All that is left are precisely those places that are still there, the apartment block where we lived during my teenage years and the building where I only spent a few months. I will have these sessions when I am back in Chemnitz over Christmas and with this I will hopefully manage to finish the shooting part of the project. Next up are film development, scanning and post-processing. Of those I can hopefully manage to finish at least the development and scanning this month so that I can do the post-processing in San Sebastian over the winter. I can also develop and scan later, but I definitely need to finish the shooting part though or else I will have a break in atmosphere if the seasons change in the pictures. So far I only developed one roll. Pretty decent results I have to say at least from what I could gather by just looking at the negatives. I hope the other rolls turn out equally well.

Exhibition announcement: “No Time No Space No Soul” 14.-21.12.2013

Just to let you know: There will be a few pictures of mine in an exhibition in Dresden from the 14th to the 21st of December 2013. So, if you happen to be in Dresden during this time, come and check it out! I will be there on opening night as well if you want to have a chat.

Nur um es euch wissen zu lassen: Ich werde ein paar Bilder in einer Ausstellung in Dresden haben vom 14. bis zum 21. Dezember 2013. Wenn ihr also zufällig in Dresden seid in der Zeit, dann kommt und schaut es euch an. Ich werde auch bei der Eröffnung dabei sein falls ihr Hallo sagen wollt.

 

Here the announcement / Die Ankündigung in deutsch findet ihr weiter unten:

14.-21.12.2013 exhibition “No Time No Space No Soul”
The exhibition accompanying Maulkorb #12 at Hole of Fame is taking shape.

Exhibition opening on the 14th of December, 7pm – photography, graphic design, painting and sculpture by Anja Jurkenas, Anne Rosinski, conny cobra, Eric Vogel, K.C. Wagner, Klaus Roth, Lilly Schwartz, Linda Geisdorf, Mathias Pfeiffer, Silke Rilke, silvio colditz and Wouter Mijland.

Next (8pm): Der Maulkorb #12 – Relaeseparty – among others author readings by Katja Bohnot and Stephan Zwerenz + music: Dirk Fröhlich.

In cooperation with the Hole of Fame on 15.12. from 5pm-8pm Jazzsession of the HfM, 19.12., 7pm Drone, Drone, Drone, 20.12. LYRIKsession (poetry).

On 21.12. 8pm Finnisage with the fantastic Chimaera Ambient/Drone from Dresden.

Open daily 15.-21.12. from 4pm.

You can find the Hole of Fame in Dresden, Königsbrücker Straße 39.

—

14.-21.12.2013 Ausstellung “Keine Zeit Kein Raum Keine Seele”
Das Ausstellungsprogramm zum Maulkorb #12 im Hole of Fame nimmt Gestalt an.

Am 14.12. 19 Uhr Ausstellungseröffnung – Fotografie, Grafik, Malerei und Skultur von Anja Jurkenas, Anne Rosinski, conny cobra, Eric Vogel, K.C. Wagner, Klaus Roth, Lilly Schwartz, Linda Geisdorf, Mathias Pfeiffer, Silke Rilke, silvio colditz und Wouter Mijland.

Anschließend oder 20 Uhr: Der Maulkorb #12 – Relaeseparty – u.a. lesen Katja Bohnot uns Stephan Zwerenz + Musik: Dirk Fröhlich.

In Kooperation mit dem Hole of Fame am 15.12. von 17 -20 Uhr Jazzsession der HfM, 19.12., 19 Uhr Drone, Drone, Drone, 20.12. LYRIKsession.

Am 21.12. 20 Uhr Finnisage mit den großartigen Chimaera Ambient/Drone aus Dresden.

Vom 15.-21.12. täglich ab 16 Uhr geöffnet.

Das Hole of Fame findet Ihr in Dresden auf der Königsbrücker Straße 39.

kings

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

All pictures taken with: Olympus Pen E-PL3 and Panasonic Lumix 20mm f/1.7 ASPH.

Two weeks ago I was shooting for my ‘down below’ project and these pictures are from the first session. As you can see, I had quite a successful session, especially considering that this is the second post on the session. I had several of these sessions and it seems that I will be advancing on the project a lot once I edit the pictures. Since I’ve been considering to make a book project out of it, I will probably continue along these lines when I’m back in Berlin as well.

The last few days I have been so busy with my ‘memory’ project that I hardly had time to edit pictures though. I will have to try to catch up once I’m back in Berlin, although I see myself getting busy developing and scanning film as well. So far this second project is going really well and I will almost have covered all the places that I wanted to capture. I will probably have to go out for another couple of sessions when I’m here in Chemnitz over Christmas, but these will be nice places that should not involve any emotional turmoil. That certainly can’t be said about all the places that I visited so far.

Among the more disturbing places was my primary school, or at least the place where it used to stand. I don’t exactly have happy memories there so I was a bit afraid that it might affect me badly. Already years ago I wanted to try to take pictures there assuming that the school still stands, but when I got there the building was gone and I gave up the idea. After all, how do you capture something that is not there anymore? The school right next to mine still stands though and since it has the same architectural design it was actually almost like seeing the real thing. Also the sports ground and hall as well as the gardening plot still exist pretty much unchanged. Walking across the sports ground was really rather uncomfortable, but despite the fears I had in anticipation of confronting this part of my life, I actually managed to get on quite well and stay relatively unperturbed emotionally.

Today I will go back to the same neighbourhood to look at the spot where our house used to stand. Yes, they did a pretty good job at erasing my past. The house where we lived the first 7 or 8 years of my life, my primary school and my secondary school have all fallen victim to the rather ironic policy of demolishing buildings to improve the city. Sure, they’re right that these buildings were rather bleak and ugly, but somehow it still feels wrong that they are gone. This city has a socialist past and sadly none of the architectural achievements of socialist modernity made it to Chemnitz. Architecturally socialism in Chemnitz produced rather bare and functionalist buildings – and still the city centre would be much nicer if they had reconstructed the existing buildings rather than to build these ugly modern buildings where none of them actually fit together. Albeit somewhat ugly at least the more functional socialist architecture was homogenous. The modern stuff they built instead seems out of place and is ugly nonetheless.

I myself feel rather out of place here at the moment as well because almost all the shops I knew have disappeared along with quite a number of buildings. The other day I wanted to warm up in the market hall when I was out shooting on a very cold day. When I got there I had to realise that it now was a bike shop. Every day I walk past some shop or building that had some meaning to me when I was little but which is now empty and abandoned or gone altogether. I don’t know whether I should read this symbolically. For years I could not even remember my childhood and I have abandoned the city and my old life there as well. Maybe it is only fitting that all signs of my past are gradually being erased. I can’t help finding it rather eerie though that my relationship to my hometown and the state of my memory should be reflected so appropriately by such city planning efforts. No wonder that I keep finding the experiences of re-visiting the places of my childhood so surreal. Maybe in reality I am actually in a padded cell somewhere only imagining my journey to my hometown. This sure would explain the strange resonance between my mental state and my current surroundings, because then the outside world would only be a product of my own making. That said, whenever I face such eerie doubts about reality I remind myself that it might just be my brain having problems to integrate my memories with all the changes that have obviously happened in Chemnitz in the last few years. Considering how much has changed it is rather unsurprising that I would feel rather odd about it. No matter how uncomfortable this feeling of derealisation might be, I have to say that it is at least rather inspiring with regard to my project. I hope that I will somehow manage to convey this feeling in the final images.

knorke

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

All pictures taken with: Olympus Pen E-PL3 and Panasonic Lumix 20mm f/1.7 ASPH.

Last night I spent a few hours working on the first batch of pictures that I took recently in Berlin while working on my Down Below project. Every day I went down in the subway and spent some time exploring, getting off at every station and taking pictures. It seems to be a good strategy, because I got a lot of interesting pictures and only spent a little more than half an hour for each session. After about 5 stops with trains every 5 minutes and spending 10 minutes at some stations when it was interesting enough, I was already saturated and had taken a ton of pictures with a good results. Some stations are obviously more interesting than others. Usually those are the ones where several lines cross and where more people get off. However, even the stops where you would not expect to see anything interesting can be worth a try, since one might get lucky. After seeing the good results of my first session I’m really curious about the next ones.

The last couple of days I realised how very silly it was to choose November for my plan to come to my hometown to take pictures. Boy is it cold out here! On the first outing my hands were red and stiff when I took my gloves off. These gloves work fine when I have my hands in my coat pockets, but not when I’m holding a metal camera! You can imagine how much fun it is to rewind a roll of film when the camera is really cold and your hands are already freezing before touching the damn thing. So, the first order of business was to get some cold weather gear, which meant going to the mall and getting myself some mittens and leg warmers. And did I mention that taking pictures involves standing around too much in the snow, which is a guarantee for numb toes? I’m hoping that wool inlays for my shoes will help at least a little bit, but judging from experience it won’t prevent cold feet entirely. Only walking helps with that and once the feet are cold they usually stay cold anyway. Somehow the gloves are still a problem as well. The mittens are really nice and warm and work fine with my Olympus, but they are actually a bit of a hassle while shooting with my Zorki. It works, but I tend to cover the rangefinder window while trying to focus, which is hugely annoying. Maybe I have to get some sports gloves instead.

The other problem while shooting analog in this weather is that the film tends to get a bit brittle. Yesterday I managed to break a roll of film in such a weird way that I still don’t know how it could have happened. It basically sliced a bit of film off the long side while rewinding. I guess I can be lucky that this did not happen on the whole length of film or else I would have sliced the whole roll in half. Normally film rips on the short end and you only lose a few frames, but this could have easily ended up ruining the entire roll. The way it happened I only lost about 3 or 4 frames instead of one or two with a regular rip. Ah, the joys of photography in cold weather! No wonder that I’m trying to escape this madness by moving to Spain! At least there it snows just a few days if it snows at all, while here in Germany it’s usually months of this weather! For this project there are only two ways of dealing with the cold though: Putting up with it now or re-scheduling the whole effort to happen in spring instead. I’m already here though, so I might as well try to get it done anyway even though it involves quite a bit of discomfort.

arrival

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

Planet Earth | © Verena Fischer 2013

Planet Earth | © Verena Fischer 2013

Düsseldorf, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

All pictures taken with: Olympus Pen E-PL3 and Panasonic Lumix 20mm f/1.7 ASPH.

Although posting pictures in a delayed fashion is on some level good, because it allows me to distance myself emotionally from the shots, it also might be slightly confusing to you readers. After all my narrative happens mostly in the present while the accompanying pictures come from the past. Although travel pictures are somewhat appropriate for yesterday, Berlin was actually not my destination. Right now I am actually in Chemnitz and we arrived yesterday by car. If you ever spent an extended amount of time on the motorway you can probably imagine how very bored I was in the car on the passenger seat. There is only so much time you can spend eating and after a few initial shots around the Berlin city motorway the landscape quickly turned too boring to be enjoyable photographically. At least the journey from Berlin to Chemnitz is not long, so I only had to kill a few hours. Still, after arriving I realised that boredom and visual monotony leads to extreme tiredness. At least when you’re driving yourself you need to pay attention, but as a passenger it turned out to be just mind-numbing grey-brown emptiness.

Whenever I arrive in Chemnitz I start to feel slightly off. It is the slightly restless trapped feeling that seemed to pervade my teenage years. Usually this is accompanied by the world lining up with my emotions by showing me something to underline this feeling of hopelessness and boredom. In the past I would step off the train and see a skinhead or already hear a completely idiotic conversation in our dialect on the train. Surprisingly even after a car journey the world managed to provide me with a similarly disturbing experience: The first person I saw arriving in Chemnitz was a guy in full camouflage gear hitting his shepherd dog with the leash. Well, thank you, dear universe, for reminding me why I do not live in this city anymore. Of course this is nothing more than selective perception – I chose to see this person instead of ignoring it – but still it illustrates how very strange it is for me to visit my hometown.