one day at a time

lift off

© Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

© Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

© Verena Fischer 2013

Berlin, Germany | © Verena Fischer 2013

All pictures taken with: Olympus Pen E-PL3 and Panasonic Lumix 20mm f/1.7 ASPH.

There I was thinking I could just easily get back into the swing of things after a lazy summer. Over the summer I was also trying to recover from my health issues. Well, not so easy. If you solve one problem, it usually just creates another one, because the universe finds it pretty funny to make things as difficult as possible. In all my efforts to tweak my diet, new issues start cropping up and therefore I never really get a break from “recovering” somehow. I will get there eventually. There is only one conclusion to draw: I just have to try to work anyway, even if I’m not yet feeling entirely great. I still have 4 undeveloped rolls of film lying around and some other pictures that need editing, before I can get into a proper routine again.

In a couple of weeks I will be traveling to San Sebastian again and this time I probably won’t be taking my Zorki. While I do want to keep working on my analog photography I just don’t feel I can do that properly if I have to wait a month or longer to see the pictures. And then there is this barrier of having to develop not only one roll but that several rolls are waiting. And if you go out and take more pictures, there will be even more of them accumulating! It starts to feel like a hassle and that’s not really how I want to work. Do I have to mention that yesterday when I was just about to get on with the developing process I realised that I forgot to buy purified water? The water over here is so horrific, that I’d end up with limescale on my negatives if I’d wash with normal tap water. How annoying! Tomorrow then – since obviously the shops are closed on Sundays.

This backlog of film rolls is definitely part of the problem of living in two cities. You never have all the stuff you need (in this case developing tank, chemicals and the scanner obviously had to stay in Berlin) and it breaks up the routine so much as well! My good working routine before the summer got thrown out the window in San Sebastian and now that I feel like I can get it back I’m already about to travel again. I can’t wait to finally have everything in one place!

That said, even though I didn’t work consistently over the last month it’s not as if I was lazy either. I’ve been to see several doctors to try to get answers, researched a lot of health stuff and as a result my pain has improved substantially with another diet change! I might even expect some more improvement over the next couple of months, because complicated processes are involved that need time to sort themselves out. Things are definitely looking up! We’re even slowly planning a trip to Prague, which is amazing! This is just great, especially since travelling has been all but impossible for me for a long time. I used to be quite ill right after travelling, so going anywhere for a short period of time wasn’t really an option. A city trip? Pointless under these circumstances! During a two week trip I would have been horrifically ill one week at least. At the beginning of the summer I managed to travel to San Sebastian without getting so ill though and things are getting better and better. Maybe by next year our Prague trip will finally happen! The next step after that would be a trip to Buenos Aires. I’ve been dreaming about that for many years, but my health was just too bad even for a longer trip. A long flight with jet lag is obviously not exactly the best idea for someone with delicate health. Now it might finally become possible though!

I’ve already been working on my health actively for a year now and I’m still not really “healthy”. It’s like peeling an onion layer after layer. Always new problems are uncovered. However, I’m improving anyway, even if the slow process sometimes feels as if nothing is happening at all. However, considering that I managed to get on a plane twice in the last few months without getting horrifically ill, things really must be improving! I used to travel back and forth between England and Germany every few months for a number of years and my one week ordeal after every flight was as reliable as the sun coming up every morning! Travelling twice without that? Unthinkable! Maybe one day I’ll be able to just travel and take pictures without worrying about my health at all! Wouldn’t that be great? Well, I’m working on it. And if I keep visualising the goal, then the hassles of dealing with doctors and all the temporary setbacks don’t seem all that bad. It’s worth the effort, even though setbacks mean that I won’t be able to work consistently. That’s another thing that will hopefully change if I manage to improve my health a bit more!


One response

  1. I do really hope and wish you to be on the right way to solve your health problem, or at least to arrive at a point where you can live comfortably with them. As someone who shoots both film and digital I know very well what you mention, in facts lately I shoot only color on film, have them developed and than I scan process print. But B&W on silver film is so nice and plan to go back to it as well (still have a dozen of film in the fridge).
    Traveling is one of the cases where digital is easier, you have not to decide in advance which film, which iso, color or B&W and the possibility to review the work done give you a more flexible way to operate. Just my opinion.
    Ciao, be strong!
    PS: important: Prague: I have been there and there are excellent opportunities for a photographer, my wife and me are going to have an exhibition about our work about this special place.

    September 29, 2013 at 3:15 pm

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